Balancing acts

Everyone who reads this knows about Joelle and her teeny tiny attitude issue.
I am supposed to be thankful that I have a bright, inquisitive, independent child. I am. Sometimes.
However, within the last 24 hours, she has been blatantly disobedient about a) her attire, b) her chores and c) her homework. I keep reminding myself that she is just little, she is only seven, but then I turn around and I have a wonderful example of a preteen staring me down.
The attire. Hand-me-downs are great, but sometimes they come out of season. It is still cold here in the morning for her hour long bus ride - right now it is minus 4 or so. Yesterday she wore a tank top to school under her clothes- she says she changed for gym, but I wonder...
It is really tough. Her classroom is hot. Her mother is not. I had told her to wear longer sleeves until her little burn healed up (that's a curling iron burn on her arm for those of you reading this who aren't aware - minor, accidental, unless it was because she was experimenting with Mom's curling iron in the hotel, again, who can tell?). Actually, I would have just laughed if she had chosen a contraband t-shirt. But my archaic sense of what is appropriate has led me to believe that, especially for kids who travel on the bus and have no extra place to put things, tank tops are not adequate for school (except on the rare fun day or athletic event.) Same goes for sandals, short shorts (skorts are okay) or anything baring the midriff. So therefore, all of those things are "definitely not school clothes" and Joelle has a drawer for them.
Here's the balancing act: Dale thinks that perhaps it is because Joelle has nicer clothes for day to day wear that she is trying to dress down. True, could be. The choices available for little girls have been questionable for a few years, so many of the clothes worn by the classmates are not what I would consider "appropriate". Do I capitulate on the tank top? I don't think so in April, but maybe I'm completely wrong about my standards of attire.
Today she left in a t-shirt, and I didn't check her backpack. We talked with her last night, but didn't make a big deal about it - not sure if that was the best way to go or whether we were allowing a disobedience problem to escalate. I decided to trust her judgment, but have left her with the message that if she should be cold because she dressed the way she did, or if her burn should get scraped or if she should otherwise decide that she didn't dress well for school, that is HER problem.
The trouble with that is that the school is so used to providing extra clothing for the children of the ne'er do well parents that they have a big stash of clothing set up for kids who come to school inappropriately dressed. So, the consequence of not dressing well would be...?
As far as the chores and homework go, I'm blaming it on spring fever. There may still be snow on the ground, but the kids are squirrelly. Jo gets English and French homework on Tuesdays. Has since October. She did her English homework last night, claimed she couldn't help out with her dishwasher chore because she had more to do...and then crept downstairs to play with Char.
I woke up this morning to spring - Dale is out hauling grain, we have a semi coming this afternoon too, starting to get crazy on the farm, so I was up earlier...
And Joelle hadn't done her French.
I get the "whoopsie" out of her when I ask. I inform her that she'd better get it done before the bus comes figuring that the colouring alone will make her rushed, and late, and teach a small life lesson. Wouldn't you know it, the bus was late today, so we finished in plenty of time, and this book and worksheet were really easy to boot.
And I ended up making myself Minnesota coffee because I didn't understand that when Dale told me I just needed to grind the coffee & put it in that he had already filled the water reservoir and then I wasn't functioning well enough to find a siphon hose to get the extra water out.
Transitions are so tough!