coffee and chardonnay

I am a weak person. I should have been able to give something up for Lent. Didn't even try this year.

My daughters know how I love my coffee. Jo has used it as the definition of "addiction" when asked in her classroom. Every child who has ever had me for a camp Guider knows how much I have to have my coffee.

But, I'm supposed to try to cut out coffee. All of it. Not even allowed decaf, if I follow one of the "IBS Diets" on the internet.

That is an impossible task. I am indeed very, very requiring of coffee. I'm down a cup today (Dale is drinking more and making smaller pots to help me along in my cutbacks). My mood is diminished. Destroyed. I could go on...

I'm allowed all the peppermint tea I can drink. This has ruined peppermint tea. What a lame substitute for the soothing brew of coffee. There is no substance to peppermint tea. It is hot water with leaves.

Part of my mood problem is that I'm having a flare right now. So I'm taking another break from eating - following the suggestions of what to do when you have a flare. Good job it is Good Friday, but my willpower is waning. I'm just hungry. And grumpy. Boost doesn't fill you up, but I'm out of options on the diet. I had a few digestive biscuits - those seem to always be okay, so do arrowroot cookies, nilla wafers and milk. Wow.

I've had two suppers out this week. They were pill-popping nightmares, despite the fact I was trying to behave. I wasn't concerned about the flare, thought I could deal with it with imodium and tylenol, as I'd finally had my repeatedly rescheduled specialist's appointment scheduled for Tuesday.

Until they called again - she'd had a family emergency. They'll call when they can reschedule. Again.

So I'm a grouch. And I need better drugs. And I have to eat out twice more this coming week - I had no problems when I was on vacation, but eating out sure is causing problems now. I'm just frustrated.

I'm ignoring the part of the diet that says I have to give up wine. That doesn't hurt me (mind you, neither does coffee). And I have to have some pleasure in this liquid existence.

I did have a good giggle reading an article on giving things up for Lent yesterday. I don't know if trying to follow this internet diet is the right thing to do, but until I get to see that specialist, I don't know what else to try. I guess, in the meantime, this self-deprivation what I'm doing for Lent. Too bad that I won't be able to quit in time for Easter.